“The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
—Bertrand Russell

It seems like every time I turn on the teevee or radio, I don’t have to wait long to see or hear a commercial from Constant Contact. Every time I do, my teeth grind.

First off, let me say that they’re good commercials. Really good commercials. If I were working for Constant Contact, they’d be exactly the kinds of commercials I’d want to see on the air.

But as someone who has personally pulled the “send” trigger on around 2,000 email campaigns (give or take), I find that these spots do exactly what so many lesser commercials do: promise ease and riches when the reality is much different.

Sure, Constant Contact — and other programs like Campaigner, Newsberry, Campaign Monitor, AWeber, Emma, MailChimp, etc. etc. — enables someone to create and deliver email messaging for their business. But it’s not as simple as all that.

As a company, what’s your strategy for capturing email addresses? Are you integrating your brand messaging, both visually and textually, into your email campaigns? Do you have a strategy for how often you’ll reach out to your list? Are you segmenting that list? Are you A/B testing subject lines? Are you being conversational or hard-sell? Are you aware of which terms in your subject line will get your mail caught by spam filters? Are you observing best practices for email copywriting? Are you using email to facilitate feedback from your customers, and do you have a system in place to address any feedback? Are you properly leveraging administrative list messages? Are you aware of CAN-SPAM legislation that may affect your email marketing?

For starters.

I have to add, too, that the email I get from companies using Constant Contact pretty much all looks the same: They’re using basic content templates, and there’s that big honkin’ Constant Contact logo at the bottom — which always annoys me. After all, why let Constant Contact’s branding get in the way of yours?

And if you can’t navigate the Constant Contact system to remove their logo from your email, do you really think you’re properly addressing all the other important questions that surround email marketing?

The Onion strikes again.

Takeaway for marketers: Yes, it’s important to focus on your most valuable customers. But don’t do so at the expense of everyone else.

I’m a big fan of little Web things that make a big difference.

So when I had occasion to send an email to the editor of Finslippy, I loved the “your email was sent” confirmation message. It’s perfect: It takes a simple administrative function and turns it into an expression of personality, a touch of humor, a bit of conversation …

… except that when I sent it, I was suffering from a bad case of hat hair. Hmmmmm.

Here’s a novel Valentine’s Day gift idea, and a clever way to capitalize on the holiday to get a little social media buzz going and facilitate increased donations.

Gotta say, too, that I love this bit, hidden in the metatext of the page:

“That’s why I just named one of the Bronx Zoo’s Madagascar hissing cockroaches in my Valentine’s honor. Like my special someone, my roach is resilient and resourceful, and always around. I’m not afraid to say, Baby, you’re a roach!”